And I Say These Things Out of Complete Respect ||
This post started as “apologies from a sleep training mom” but then I decided I needed to stop apologizing for what was best for my son. Sleep training River has been one of the hardest but most rewarding experiences I’ve had since being a mom. I almost gave up so many times but stuck with it even when I thought I was going to lose my mind. My well rested child who is able to console himself and feel secure without me or his dad being with him at all times makes my heart beam with pride.
The first part of April we went on a 13 day vacation visiting family and friends all of South Georgia and Florida. I was terrified at first for what this would do to River and the progress we had made with this sleep but I was DETERMINED not to let him regress and aid him in every way I could to make sure he didn’t suffer.
The first 4 nights were spent in different homes with more than an hour plus of traveling in between. But we loaded that pack-n-play every where we went and consistently made him nap as much as possible in it. While we had our struggles and a few “coming to Jesus” moments with my Mom and Grandmother about not consoling him if he is trying to get himself to sleep, it was overall a success.
I received a lot of positive questions and comments from young and veteran moms, alike that humbled me to know that I was doing something right as a Mom but I was also faced with rude accusations and derogatory remarks of me “torturing” my child by not running to him as soon as he started crying.
As I reflect back on all of the questions and comments here are 5 things as a sleep training Mom I would like people to know:
- I love to Cuddle my son: He’s friggin’ adorable and sweet just like all babies his age and yes, I would love nothing more than to just cuddle my little love bubble when he sleeps, but he needs this for his well-being and ours.
- I know he should have some flexibility: I want my child to be able to cope in different situations because hey, life happens but I feel that when we brought a baby into the world we made the decision to put his best interest firsts, especially at such a young age and I will do whatever it takes to make sure he is comfortable to get his rest.
- I am not a cold-hearted bitch: Point blank. His crying hurts me WAY more than it hurts you. I’ve listened to it for hours on end. Cried while he’s cried, and also seeing a therapist because of the wounds of my past it decided to trigger after I long thought I’d. Laid. Them to. Rest. So yes I know it’s hard to hear.
- I promise I’ve made sure he’s okay: We brought along his video monitor so we can assure he is not in distress if he is crying. I have fed him, bathed him and comforted him now it’s time he comforts himself.
- I will shhhh you: …and I really am sorry for this. I don’t want to treat anyone like a child but at home Riv is used to his nursery fortress in the back corner of our 2-story home. He has a simple white-noise machine but his room is just in a quiet place. Every place we have been to while traveling has been a challenge with close quarters. So, no we don’t typically walk on egg shells but he’s already struggling being in strange place so asking for quiet for 45 minutes so he can get a get nap or go down for the night doesn’t seem like too much to ask of someone.
The Sleep Series on the blog has been the most visited posts since I started this little journey so I know many others are either looking for guidance, support or inspiration on their child’s sleep. My advice…don’t apologize or try to appease others if you KNOW you are doing what is right for your child! Don’t give up or give in for your sake and theirs.